Finite

"He is the Source. Of everything. Strength for your day. Wisdom for your task. Comfort for your soul. Grace for your battle. Provision for each need. Understanding for each failure. Assistance for every encounter." 

Jack Hayford

Mom in her element ~ our family's "Queen of Hospitality".

This photo was taken at a family gathering in April ~ only three & a half months ago, but it feels in some ways like a lifetime ago. It's weird the things we take so for granted: standing at the stove stirring Brussel sprouts, fluid speech, driving a car, good health... And then something like cancer reminds us in a dramatic and yucky fashion that we are finite. We are vulnerable.

Interestingly, it isn't only my mom who has been confronted with her "finite-ness". My family and I have also been faced at several turns with how very limited and finite we are as well. Much of the trauma [aside from the actual diagnosis] comes from the daily barrage of questions and options and decisions. And they aren't inconsequential matters.

We were blessed the latter part of last week with clear direction from mom on a significant matter: to proceed with radiation and chemotherapy or not. Mom made it emphatically clear on Thursday that she wants to move forward with the radiation treatments and chemo (which will be administered orally). This will begin tomorrow.

I love the quote by Jack Hayford because it reminds me of something I know to be true, and yet I still have a propensity to forget: I am finite. I don't have all the answers to all the questions. Truth be told ~ I have shockingly few answers. I don't have endless patience, or strength, or resilience. The beauty part is.... all that I lack, God/YaHWeH "I AM" supplies. Perhaps not in a time frame that I (or my dad or my siblings) prefer. Likely not in a way we hope or expect, but He will provide. He is a faithful God. 

I mentioned in a previous post, An Invitation to the Weary that our family experienced "parting of the Red Sea" level miracles during my husband, Roger's journey with GBM. Much of the journey was still excruciatingly difficult but we were sustained throughout and God continued to provide for our daughter, Allison and for me after Roger transitioned from earth to heaven in December 2014. [This is what enables me to have hope for mom and dad in the midst of incredibly hard stuff.]

Updates:

• Tomorrow mom will have been at Mission Hospital for four weeks. She is still on the oncology floor.
• As mentioned, she will begin radiation and chemotherapy tomorrow, Monday. Radiation is Monday - Friday for a total of 33 treatments (I believe). Chemo is given orally and is supposed to have less severe side effects than chemo infusions. Mom will be transported via ambulance from the hospital to the Leonard Cancer Institute while she is still at Mission.
• An assessment will be done after the first 2 treatments to see how well she is tolerating radiation.
• At this point there is no specific date for mom to be discharged from Mission. It will be dependent upon how well she does with treatment.

Prayer requests:

• For supernatural peace for my mom during radiation especially. I believe she will be transported shortly after 12:00 p.m. from the hospital to L.C.I.
• For the treatments to be effective and for minimal side effects.
• For wisdom for all her healthcare providers to know when it is best for mom to transition back home.
• For home healthcare to support my dad when mom goes home and for family and friends to support dad as well.
• For answers to questions about what Medicare provides going forward.

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart;

do not depend on your own understanding.

Seek His will in all you do,

and He will show you which path to take."

Proverbs 3:5,6

Choosing to trust,

Terrie